ArcaMax

-- Worried

Dear Worried: Your question invokes the concept of "constructive possession." This idea is that -- even if you don't have drugs on you, if you have knowledge of illegal drugs in your car, or some sort of "control" over these substances, then you could be charged with possession.

You driving your 16-year-old nephew to dinner and being stopped and charged with possession seems like a stretch (to me), but police officers are basically tasked to make judgment calls -- and they sometimes make mistakes.

I think you should not worry too much about this. Don't search or "frisk" him. Do tell him, frankly, "You realize that if I get pulled over for any reason, we could both get into a lot of trouble if you have anything on you, right? If you have anything illegal with you, I need you to go back into the house and leave it behind." And leave it at that.

Don't let him manipulate you, don't give him money and don't make unauthorized or unexpected stops. But yes -- do spend time with him. It would be good for him to be around an adult who is going to hang in there with him and love him through a very tough time.

Dear Amy: How do I get my dorm roommate to stop playing loud videos and "white noise" sounds really late at night?

Our living situation is going fine, except for the fact that she tends to wake me up by coming in really late at night (1 or 2 AM), and then playing YouTube videos or "white noise" really loudly.

I've tried to use earplugs, but it's still really loud. I've asked her on a couple of occasions to use headphones or turn it down, but I haven't addressed the whole problem outright because I'm worried she's going to get mad at me.

I don't know if my complaint is legitimate or if I'm just being a bitchy roommate. I don't really have time for "roommate drama." I'd like to think that I wouldn't be asking too much, but I'm still scared to do it.

I don't want to cause a confrontation about it, but I'm not getting good sleep and it's affecting my classes.

...continued