Girlfriend is creeped-out by photos of boyfriend's ex
Dear Survivor: Unless you were withholding details that would affect your boyfriend's health, such as an STD, his reaction to you waiting to disclose the truth about your life seems unkind. Of course, there are degrees of "horrible." Have you committed a crime? Have you harmed others? If so, then your silence about these things would feel like a betrayal to him.
Depending on where you fall on the "horrible" spectrum, you weren't necessarily lying to your boyfriend by not disclosing details about your past -- you were waiting judiciously to tell your story to someone you could trust with this deep and intimate knowledge.
Your boyfriend may not be equipped to love you through this. But no one who loves you and who learns the truth about your life should then punish you for it.
Dear Amy: You advised "Cheated Upon" to notify the wife of a cheating husband about the affair. I completely disagree. What two other consenting adults do is no one else's business.
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: "Cheated Upon" said he had wished someone had informed him of his wife's infidelity. For him, this was an ethical issue. He had no stake in the outcome, other than the strength of his own experience.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
