Girlfriend is creeped-out by photos of boyfriend's ex
-- Confused
Dear Confused: My perspective is that a grandparent might display a photo of her child and an ex-spouse if the grandparents or grandchildren are also in the photo. A giant picture of ex-spouses holding hands and crossing the finish line of a race is something that should be put away.
I have been in situations where photos of exes cause a surprising amount of distress, namely to children recovering from a toxic divorce. When their parents don't communicate with each other or with former in-laws in real life, kids don't want to see an estranged parent completely erased, but they aren't always comforted by these reminders of how things were -- once upon a time.
The only issue here is why you haven't communicated with your guy about this, and why he hasn't communicated with his mother. You should convey to him, "Honey, I know it is not my mom and not my house, but I'm wondering if you've spoken to your mother about the photos of your ex she has on display? She may not realize that these pictures make us uncomfortable."
After that, you should work hard to let this go. It is her home.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together for nine months.
I waited several months before I told him about my past, which is horrible.
He is still struggling with the fact that I "lied" to him for so long. He is also uncomfortable with some of the details of my past.
What should I do?
-- Survivor
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