Mother's affair with exchange student shocks child
I've always had feelings for him -- that, "Too bad I didn't meet him first" kind of feeling about him.
Now that we are (almost) in the same place, I wonder how to let him know I'd be interested in more than just friendship.
I definitely feel firmly entrenched in the friend zone. How can I find out if he would even entertain the idea?
-- Friends Forever?
Dear Friends: This is delicate, because you're both newly single. Continue to see (or be in touch with) him, and let your friendship grow. Try to pick the right moment to use your line: "During my marriage, I definitely had that 'too bad I didn't meet you first' feeling about you." This is honest on your part, but doesn't box him in.
His reaction will reveal the zone where he has parked your relationship.
Dear Amy: When I read the letter from "Sad Mom," I recognized my younger self: A parent of an undiagnosed autism spectrum child, and a healthy newborn.
The behaviors Sad Mom described do not sound to me like a toddler acting out for attention, but rather one who cannot control his behavior.
I would recommend an evaluation to determine if the child is on the spectrum.
Early intervention is key. Sad Mom should not blame herself for not bonding with her first child. She may need to learn a new reality.
-- Older and Wiser
Dear Wiser: Thank you for sharing your perspective. While to me this toddler's behavior seemed in the normal range for a child who was stressed, yes -- he should be evaluated.
========
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
