Boyfriend ponders optimal timing for break-up
Thank you for your help.
-- Reluctant Aunt
Dear Reluctant: You don't disclose the timing of your unpleasant encounters with your nephew, but if you essentially gave up on him when he was an obnoxious 8-year-old, then you just haven't tried hard enough.
Weddings can actually be positive experiences for family members who haven't been close to reconnect. Of course, weddings can also be estrangement-producing nightmares.
If you don't intend to attend this wedding, you should send a polite response now: "I'm very happy to see that you are planning to get married. Thank you for sending the save-the-date. Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day, and I wish you both all the very best. Love, Auntie."
Why express this using such polite and warm language? Because you will feel better if you do.
And, yes, because this is your nephew's wedding, it would be kind of you to send a gift.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
