Parents' sideline coaching is way out of bounds
Dear Amy: My 15-year-old son plays in a local baseball league.
Recently his team has been short some players so they've asked a younger player, "Benjamin," to "play up." Ben is 11, and a very good player.
I've been sitting with this child's parents during the game.
Every time Ben does something good, he comes over to his parents and they make some kind of disparaging remark.
For example, the last game, Ben hit a solid single. The next player hit a home run and both kids scored. What does the dad say? "You almost got called out because you ran so slow that your teammate almost passed you." (Not true, Ben has wheels.)
Should I say something to these parents? They talk about how Ben's baseball could be better if he had more confidence, and then they insult him whenever he does something good.
-- Baseball Mom
Dear Baseball Mom: An 11-year-old "playing up" with teenagers is facing many challenges -- not just athletically, but also socially. These parents should be nurturing and supportive. If they criticize his triumphs, I can only imagine what they are like when he makes mistakes (as every person does).
I read the results of a survey that claims to have interviewed hundreds of college athletes over a 30-year period. According to the survey, athletes' number one complaint and concern from their own experience in youth sports was the post-game ride home in the car with their parents. These former youth athletes said they wanted to hear only one thing from their parents: "I love to watch you play." That's it.
I support the important work of the Positive Coaching Alliance (positivecoach.org). Athletes and coaches from Billie Jean King to Phil Jackson attest to the power of positivity on the sidelines.
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