Single mom is in a New York state of mind
When we see them, she monopolizes my time with her issues. I've been a good listener.
Recently I had a scary health issue. I told her about it. The next time I saw her she asked how my mom was doing with that issue.
We've tried to see them less because of how much she talks.
What's the best way to take back my time when we're in social situations?
My friendships with other people are more mature, and I'm not sure how to best move on from this "friendship" without hurting her feelings.
-- Moving On
Dear Moving On: What about your feelings? Doesn't this person's inattention hurt your feelings? Doesn't her behavior make you feel disregarded, and sad?
You should tell her how you feel. Use "I" statements: "When I'm with you, I don't feel heard. This makes me feel disregarded. I'm very frustrated."
This reflection might make her so uncomfortable that she would back away. But there is a chance that this might cause her to examine her own behavior, and work hard to change it.
Dear Amy: Your response to the "Unsure," the grieving boy who had recently lost his mother and was confused by his crush at school, was beautiful, poignant, and had me in tears.
As the mother of a 13-year-old boy, I can't imagine his pain.
Well done.
-- A Fan
Dear Fan: Scores of readers responded with their hearts open to this poignant and plaintive question -- and my response. Thank you.
========
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
