Long marriage now seems thoroughly broken
This is an armchair guess of mine (I'm not a psychologist), but if you are dissociating, it could have started with your (healthy) choice years ago not to engage in your husband's rages. Dissociation is an extreme form of detachment.
If your drinking isn't causing you to black out and have memory lapses, then it's possible that you are reacting to your sexual experiences with someone you don't love (or even like) by basically blocking out the whole episode.
If you are drunk or drugged, you cannot legally consent to sex. I assume the same standard applies to psychological injury or impairment. Your relationship with your husband seems to be thoroughly broken. It would be best for you to part, unless or until you two figure out how to communicate peacefully. And obviously, you should take an honest look at your alcohol consumption.
Dear Amy: I just received an invitation to a friend's wedding.
The marrying couple is requesting that all of their guests bring a potluck dish to share at the reception.
This is not a small family wedding! My first thought was that they could not afford a caterer; however, they are providing both a sandwich bar and an open alcohol bar.
I don't understand the reasoning. Does the dish count as my gift, or is the couple expecting both?
I won't even get into the food safety issues! Is this a new thing?
-- Confused
Dear Confused: I wonder if there is a marrying couple brave enough to host a "throw-back" wedding -- where the reception consists only of sparkling drinks and cake -- and guests sip, sup, enjoy and go home? Modern weddings have become festivals.
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