ArcaMax

My husband has accepted that what he did was wrong, but is angry at me for letting our son "off the hook."

Our son apologized and worked in 90-degree temperatures to replace the mailbox. I feel that was reasonable and responsible. Am I letting my son off the hook?

-- Responsible Mom

Dear Mom: Your husband seems to be taking a (laudable) stand to try to teach your son responsibility and accountability, but the easiest -- and most effective -- way for him to do this would be for him to say: "Son, lesson number one in our safe-driving course is this: DON'T look at your phone while you are in charge of the vehicle. As the only licensed driver in this car, I am responsible for the safe operation of the vehicle. And look! I blew it before we even got out of the driveway! Imagine if that had been a person, or a pet...?"

This is the very essence of a teachable moment, and your husband blew it by blaming the student for the teacher's failure. The two should share the consequences of this accident.

Every driving lesson with your son should be 100 percent free of distractions. The teacher and student should either leave their phones at home, or lock them in the trunk of the car during the entire lesson. The radio and navigation system should also be off. It takes a long time to learn to operate a vehicle safely. That's why the permitting and graduated licensing systems are in place.

Dear Amy: My husband likes to be the funny guy. Sometimes he takes it too far. Recently, there was a little article in our local paper regarding three couples in our family that had anniversaries in June (me and my husband, my mom and dad and my grandparents). The article featured a picture of each couple side by side.

We were all visiting my grandparents, and they had a copy of the article on their fridge. My husband thought it was funny and drew a black mustache on my mom.

I told him privately that that was not really appropriate to do that. He admitted it was a dumb thing to do. Before I could replace it with a fresh copy, both my mom and dad saw it. They didn't seem upset by it, and my mom even laughed.

Well, today my husband got a surprise visit from my dad. My dad confronted him and asked why he had done this. He told my husband that he disrespected their 30-year marriage and that my husband owes my mom an apology.

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