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Grieving teen boy ponders possible crush

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Quoting one of my heroes, Joseph Campbell: "Life is a wonderful, wonderful opera, except that it hurts." Another famous lesson from Mr. Campbell is, "Follow your bliss." This crush is giving you moments of bliss, and I hope you will follow it and see where it takes you.

Dear Amy: I have two old friends, "A" and "B." A and B are very close; they don't like a woman "C." I've never had a problem with C. We all work together.

Recently I invited A along to a social gathering. She couldn't make it, so I invited C to come in her place.

Now A and B are really mad at me. B sent me horrible texts, attacking me, saying that I'm unaware of things C has done, and threatening to not be friends. She cursed me out.

My husband saw the texts, and so he sent B a text threatening that B should never speak to me that way again.

I am sad and angry about the whole situation. We are all in our 50s, and they are acting like children bullying each other at recess.

Now our work environment is tense. Can you please give me your take on this situation?

-- Alphabet Soup

Dear Soup: First of all, your husband has not helped the situation. This is not his business, and threatening your friend and co-worker over a text exchange with you is not only unhelpful, but unwise.

 

You should draft a short email -- from your home (not work) email account, telling A, B, and C that you are very sorry to have become embroiled in drama, but that your goal is to maintain friendships with everyone. Say, "I truly hope that we can at least maintain a professional attitude toward one another at work."

Read your email several times, wait a few days (don't share it with your husband), and if you feel it reflects your point of view, send it to their personal (not work) accounts.

This may cause a flare or skirmish, which you should ignore.

Dear Amy: The letter from "So Distressed" distressed me greatly! She was actually considering marrying her violent and abusive ex, for the third time! Some people just never learn, I guess.

-- Stunned

Dear Stunned: People who have been subjected to long-term, systematic abuse, lose their humanity and judgment over time. I'm glad "Distressed" wrote to me, and I hope she gained strength from my answer.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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