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Needy single mom feels abandoned by church family

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

This is a pastoral matter, and it would be brave (and appropriate) for you to bring this to the pastor of your church. All of those generous donations over the years were not intended as a down payment for a time when you might need payback, but your very presence should be enough for you to receive emotional, spiritual and perhaps even financial support when you've needed it the most.

None of this should have any bearing on your faith. Surely your faith in people has taken a hit, but it was ever thus. Humanity -- with all of its flaws, foibles and petty cruelties -- has a way of interfering with the work of the divine, however you define it. Simply put: People -- sometimes, we're the worst.

Dear Amy: Recently an old friend's son died. I was very close with both the older and the younger man.

I learned of his death too late to attend the funeral, and was shocked when I learned that my friend didn't attend his only child's funeral. They weren't close in recent years, but still...

I have ceased speaking to my (now former) friend, as have others. We are both in our 70s, and have known each other since we were 16.

Should I resume our friendship?

-- Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: You don't seem to have talked to your friend about his son's death. On the face of it, his absence from his only child's funeral is baffling, but your friend might have had health (or other issues) preventing him from being there.

It is a shame to cut off a friendship without explanation after so many years. Your friend has already suffered a big loss; I hope you won't compound his loss without at least having a conversation.

 

Dear Amy: You answered a question from someone wondering what to do with an historical family photo that depicted people in blackface.

One of my favorite responses regarding historically racist items is the Warner Brothers disclaimer before some of their cartoons:

"The cartoons you are about to see are products of their time. They may depict some of the ethnic and racial prejudices that were common place in American society. These depictions were wrong then and are wrong today. While the following does not represent the Warner Bros. view of today's society, these cartoons are being presented as they were originally created, because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed."

-- CC

Dear CC: I understand this disclaimer has been attached to old Tom and Jerry cartoons. Thank you.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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