ArcaMax

No partner and parent should start up a side business without her partner's full assent, or invite people on a family vacation and then maneuver to keep her husband at home.

The way you describe this scenario, your wife is violating all personal and professional boundaries. You should stop being so passive, and confront her. Given what you describe, she is at risk of losing her job. And given the alarming implications of what you describe, she should not be working with young people.

Dear Amy: "David" and I have been friends for two years, and at times it seems as if he likes me more than as just a friend, but then when I think our friendship might go down the romance path, we take a sharp turn away from that topic.

I have a hard time relating to people in general because of past trauma.

I do not trust people easily, nor do I care to be alone with guys, but when I am alone with him, I feel safe and comfortable.

Please help me figure out what I am feeling.

-- Confused Girl

Dear Confused: It sounds like "David" is a very good friend, and wants to stay that way. Maybe what you are feeling right now is a beautiful thawing of your frozen heart, because you have a trustworthy male friend in your life.

When you start a romance with a person, you should be sure that your feelings are mutual. Since you're not sure, and from your letter it sounds like he isn't either, trying to rev up a friendship into a romantic relationship could get messy. It puts your treasured friendship at risk.

Allow yourself this gift: a male friend you can trust, who you feel comfortable and safe around. Enjoy this healthy relationship, and let it help you to grow.

Dear Amy: Responding to a recent question from a mother-in-law, you wrote: "Frequently, it seems that young wives dictate the couple's social calendar, and so you should try to carve out some reasonable time with them -- because this dynamic will only grow stronger if they decide to have children."

Emotional labor is a joint responsibility.

I would rewrite your comment to say, "Frequently, it seems that young husbands abdicate family responsibilities, leaving their wives to make all plans, and so you should impress on your son that it is his responsibility to stay in touch with you."

-- Sally

Dear Sally: I completely agree with your rewrite. Thank you!

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)