Jogger wonders how to respond to street harassment
And a note to bystanders: If you witness this sort of behavior, please stand in solidarity with the woman experiencing it and shout down the harasser.
If readers have other techniques for responding to street harassment, I will happily run them in future columns.
Dear Amy: I am a 54-year-old man who has been married for 36 years. My wife is amazing. We are not having any issues.
My concern is I have recently become infatuated with a younger woman.
I didn't date much as a young man and I find myself fantasizing about being with this younger woman.
I feel bad about this most of the time, as I have no desire to cheat on my wife. I think about this new woman often, and it is quite distracting. Any advice is appreciated.
-- Faithful Husband
Dear Faithful: You report that you and your wife don't have any issues, and congratulations about that -- you may be the only couple on the planet that can make this claim.
Understand that as you age, it is completely natural to try to place yourself in situations that emphasize how young you feel inside; this has led many men into the sports car dealership, or to the plastic surgeon. Your wife may be experiencing something similar in her own inner life.
You are not doing anything wrong; you have not initiated anything with this person and have no plans to do so. But you should find someone that you feel comfortable talking to about this. Consider seeing a counselor who specializes in working with men.
This is clearly making you uncomfortable, so figuring out what is triggering this fantasy may help you find a way to stop it. You may also be able to use this fantasy to connect with your wife in a new and positive way.
Dear Amy: I have some wisdom to share about granting loans to family members. This is what my mother said: "Here, this is either a loan or a gift. You decide. If it's a loan you can pay it back and it will always be here for you to borrow again. If you don't pay it back, then it's a gift, but you can't ask me for any more money." It's always a gift until it is repaid. Then it's a loan.
-- Never a Lender
Dear Lender: I love this method. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
