Marriage at midlife is one long slog
My third girl comes all of the time. I am now fighting legally to get them to adhere to visitation.
Their mother does not want me in the picture. She is always planning things to do when it is my time with the girls. They have never missed an activity or party when they are with me. Some people say to just let them go. I love them and think I am a good influence on them. I also do not want them to say, "Why did you give up on us?"
-- Lost Daddy
Dear Lost: One way that angry exes have of alienating children from a parent is to constantly interfere by planning things during the parent's visitation. It is unconscionable, destructive and ultimately hurts the children.
I agree that you should continue to fight for access to your children.
Dear Amy: Lately you've been presented with many dilemmas where people wonder if they should disclose various "family secrets." Thank you for always urging people to find a way to tell the truth. My family is full of secrecy and not-quite-buried incidents and "scandal." It is toxic.
-- Sad with Secrets
Dear Sad: Secrets seem to grow more powerful over time. Disclosure saps this power.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
