Marriage at midlife is one long slog
Dear Stay or Go: Staying in -- or leaving -- a marriage is not really a binary choice, certainly when you have young children.
You say that you can't keep cleaning the house all by yourself. Why not? It sounds as if you are probably much better at it than your wife is. You care more about this than she does.
You have three children under the age of six. If she agrees to handle the majority of the daily child care and manages to get meals on the table, can you be in charge of cleaning? Can you hire someone to clean for a few hours a week, to lighten the load for everyone? If you can financially afford to leave your marriage, then you can also afford to pay for some of the help you need right now.
Some of what you two are dealing with is what most couples in the shank of their marriage and parenting have to cope with -- that feeling that life is passing by in a blur, while spouses become detached from the relationship, and, in a way, from their own lives.
Yes, arguing in front of the children is not good for your household, but you two can learn how to communicate differently.
Therapy is ideal for getting unstuck from entrenched thought patterns. You should commit to trying to change things at home before you decide to simply pack it in.
Dear Amy: I have been divorced for nine years, and my ex-wife has been married for the last eight years. We have a 15-year-old daughter and 13-year-old triplets.
I have never missed a visitation, activity or doctors' visit.
My oldest and I had an argument and she decided she did not want to see me.
Two of the triplets then decided they did not want to visit, either.
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