Mom says she is surrounded by disrespect
I do not currently have any car or cellphone payments, yet I have been paying 60 percent of my wife's new car lease and cellphone bills.
I am looking to get another used truck, and asked my wife if she would help pay for it. She said no. She said if she did, then she would not contribute toward our taxes ($7,800).
How do I convince her that sharing in paying the taxes is just another shared expense?
She feels that since it's my house I should pay the taxes. I pay for any home improvements myself.
What is fair?
-- 60/40 Husband
Dear Husband: You should redefine what you consider shared expenses. Because cellphones and vehicles come in many different makes and models, with widely varying expenses attached, you and your wife should each pay for your own. Therefore, if she wants a fancy leased car and the latest cellphone and can afford it, she can pay for it.
Household and living expenses should be shared. That includes utilities and property taxes. Your wife is behaving like a tenant, and should perhaps pay rent. Officially co-owning the house would give her more of a stake in your financial partnership.
Dear Amy: I cried when I read the question signed "Lost," from a father grappling with how to tell his young sons that their (very distant and drug-addicted) mother had died. Thank you so much for advocating telling the truth, in a gentle and compassionate way.
-- Also Motherless
Dear Motherless: I cried, too.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
