ArcaMax

Dear Neighbor: It sounds as if this cat roams between your houses, and if she seems attached and happy with both households, then that might be a pretty good life for her.

If you don't know, ask your neighbors if the cat is feral, or if the cat is their pet. It is certainly possible that you and your neighbors have both been feeding a feral kitty. She should be spayed.

You might be tempted to ask if you could adopt this cat, but keep in mind that this outdoor kitty might not do well with your indoor cat.

Otherwise, I don't think this is a reportable situation -- it likely depends on where you live (you could call your local shelter to ask). Many cats do basically live outdoors.

I saw a neat item recently -- basically a small heated cat house intended for outdoor cats to shelter in. If you are willing to purchase and plug one in to your outdoor outlet during cold snaps, this cat (or other outdoor cats) could use it during the coldest nights.

Dear Amy: "Devoted but Hesitant Daughter" outlined her abusive mother's serious mental and emotional challenges and wondered about visiting with the kids.

Thank you for suggesting that it might be safe to make a "totally supervised, and probably short" visit with her children. Children will not break if exposed to challenging people, as long as parents are awake and aware.

-- Been There

Dear Been There: I agree. I applaud "Devoted's" careful instincts, but as I responded, her mother's mental illness "is not contagious."

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)