ArcaMax

Dear Forgiving: Not every relationship must lead to forever, but your guy seems to be declaring that it is time to fish or cut bait. Either that or he is laying the groundwork for a breakup, by basically accusing you of deal-breaking behavior.

I can understand why your anxiety disorder might lead you to be hyper-vigilant regarding day-to-day interactions. But according to you, you have a concrete reason not to trust him, as well as evidence that he took money from you. But if he removed this money and then replaced it, what were his motivations? Was he testing you? Was he trying to gaslight you?

You say you have forgiven him for this transgression, but I wonder if you have -- or if you should.

What you should NOT do is continue to sweep this under the rug. Now is the time for you to be brave enough to confront him about this and present him with the proof you claim to have.

He may deny your accusation. But after two years, this incident is not going away. It seems to be symbolic of your larger problem as a couple, which is the inability to communicate about your behavior (hyper-vigilance), and his behavior (blaming and shaming), in order to find ways to move forward as a trusting, loving couple.

Dear Amy: My neighbors are very nice, but they are irresponsible pet owners.

If not for me feeding their cat daily, I fear she'd be left to depend only on leftovers. This sweet kitty is left outdoors, even on cold nights.

I give my own cat the royal treatment.

If this indifference continues, should I confront my neighbors, report them or simply carry on as I am?

-- Nice Neighbor

...continued