Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Sister wrestles with addiction and homelessness

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Now he's trying to get a second job, and I'll never see him. I feel like he doesn't care if he sees me or not. I feel like I'm not important to him, and that he couldn't care less if he sees me. I've tried to tell him this but his answer is, "I gotta make money, bills need to be paid!" What should I do?

-- Lonely Girlfriend

Dear Lonely Girlfriend: I have the perfect solution to both your loneliness and the financial needs in your household: You need to get a job.

You don't mention whether you work, but it sounds as if this relationship is more or less your full-time occupation. If you stepped up more, your partner might be able to pull back more.

Ultimately, living together might not be the answer for you. If it feels like a bad idea, then maybe it is.

Dear Amy: "Wondering" was asking how to hit up the in-laws to help fund their children's college educations. I wonder how Wondering will feel about assuming their own grandchildren's' tuition down the road?

I am a retired grandmother who has paid for my children's undergraduate tuition and living expenses beyond what was not covered by scholarships. I would never in a million years have asked my own parents to assume my financial responsibilities. Had they offered I would have gladly accepted, but asking is another category all together, and in my opinion, falls under greed.

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-- Janie

Dear Janie: "Wondering" was interested in this financing because the in-laws supported many charities. I agree that asking for money seemed greedy, but I suggested that they could inquire about a low-interest loan, which could then be repaid to the in-laws' favorite charity.

Parents should teach their children self-reliance. Creative financing is one thing; asking for a handout (or a bail out) is another.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


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