ArcaMax

In your case, "Janet" has already received useful genetic information. She now (quite understandably) wants more. You should at least answer any questions you're able to answer.

If you aren't willing to even ask your aunts and uncles if they would be open to contact with her, then she will have to find another conduit to them.

It would be best if your family was open to the idea that people are complicated, and don't always do the right thing -- but this is the fullness of the human experience, and ultimately this is something to explore and embrace, rather than deny.

Dear Amy: My husband and I recently became friends with another couple. As a group, we get along famously.

However, lately I do not feel that my friend likes me. She makes remarks about how I don't exercise my dog, how I don't treat my husband right, how I treat my son, how they can't take me anywhere, and the list goes on.

I try not to trigger these comments and shrug them off, as they account for only a few unpleasant moments during several good hours spent together.

I like many other things about this person, but I do not like how she makes me feel when we are together. How do I let her know, without hurting her feelings, and how do I phrase asking her to stop throwing darts my way? Or am I just being too sensitive?

-- Had Enough

Dear Had Enough: I don't think it's a lot to ask for someone to refrain from trashing you -- so no, you are not being too sensitive.

Tell your friend, "I usually enjoy our time together. But you seem to find a lot wrong with me. Honestly, I don't like to be criticized, but especially in front of our husbands. What's up with that?"

She may say, as many do, "Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em." Then you can tell her, "Well, that's a trait that I don't appreciate. It's hurtful, and so I wish you would stop."

Dear Amy: "Priority Parent" described policing children on the playground. Is this "priority parenting" or "helicopter parenting?" I'm quite sick of this sort of over-involvement.

-- Normal Parent

Dear Parent: This particular parent had a special-needs child. He is doing his job to pay close attention to potential dangers on the playground.

========

(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)