Betrayed wife walks the road toward recovery
Your feelings belong to you. You won't recover until you own and befriend them. Add some sloppy listening sessions of Joni Mitchell's "Blue." Consider toilet papering your ex's love nest (I said consider it, don't actually do it). Fall into your friendships. Spend time in nature. Volunteer at your local animal shelter. Watch "Singing in the Rain." Rinse. Repeat.
The news is all-good for your recovery, and your future. No matter what else happens, you get to be with you for the rest of your life. Nurture the beautiful relationship you have with yourself, and you'll never feel alone.
Over time, you may feel compassion for your poor, deluded and possibly "menopausal" ex. And you will forgive him. And eventually, you won't really care one way or the other.
I'm sure readers will be happy to help. I'll run responses in future columns.
Dear Amy: My brother-in-law is a commercial pilot who gets a number of free passes each year.
He and my sister find it too hard to fly as a family on standby, so the passes go unused. I like to travel solo, and I have two direct-flight trips I would like to take.
My sister, however, has told the family not to ask for a pass because it's stressful for her husband to monitor the flight loads, etc.
He does tend to 'over involve' himself in anything that's going on, but he has never told me himself that I can't ask for a pass. It seems a waste to let these free flights go unused when I would like to fly to research a project I'm working on.
Do you see a way I could approach this with him directly (and risk annoying my sister), or should I leave it alone?
-- Free Bird
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