Long-ago sexual assault haunts friendship
Given everything you state, unfortunately, I think this very long friendship is probably over. And yes, I do believe you should disclose this to your friend. The man who did this to you was a minister. He no doubt had countless opportunities to assault other women, and given the brazen and reckless way he did this to you, you should also consider going to the police; other victims might come forward. Talk this through with your counselor and your husband, and do what you need to do to receive relief, release and peace.
Dear Amy: I want to thank you sincerely for suggesting Al-Anon to a reader who had an alcoholic in their life.
I didn't know about the organization until I read about it in your column.
In spite of anxiety and reluctance, I went to that first meeting. I've continued going for almost a year now.
My life has become bearable! I've learned that alcoholism is a disease that I didn't cause and that I can neither cure nor control.
I've learned not to nag and harass the sick alcoholic in my life any more than I would someone with the flu or cancer. I've learned to take care of me, the only person I can control.
Those meetings are calming and comforting; the men and women so caring. The more I go, the better I get.
Happiness is truly an inside job that begins with me.
Al-Anon is costless therapy with unimaginable rewards.
-- Grateful
Dear Grateful: Al-Anon Family Groups (al-anon.org) is not the only support group available for friends and family of substance abusers, but the organization has definitely provided a model for free, anonymous, discreet support provided by people who have been there. I also highly recommend Alateen for younger people. I'm so happy my column helped to lead you toward this support.
Dear Amy: The letter from "Feeling Dished" concerned who should do household chores, namely washing the dishes.
The couple should purchase a dishwasher, if they can. If they can't, then I agree with you -- the person with the most specific standard should do the chore.
-- Happy Household
Dear Happy: Of course, many couples also argue over the "correct" way to load a dishwasher.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)