Man and his mate might be mismatch
Dear Conflicted: "Julie's" choice has given you a window onto her value system and temperament. You say that you wonder if you even know her at all, and I say that you actually know her much better, now.
She does not acknowledge that she did anything inappropriate, hurtful or wrong. She certainly refuses to validate your (very natural) feelings of betrayal.
You two are a mismatch.
Sexual fidelity might not be in her wheelhouse. But even if she were able to guarantee that she would remain sexually faithful to you, you need to contemplate what other behaviors she might justify that you would consider wrong or hurtful. Take a fresh look at the way she handles her friendships and family relationships. I assume you will see other clues to her value system. You should also get tested for STDs.
This might also be her cowardly way of ending the relationship with you. For some people, getting caught is easier (and more fun -- for them) than having a hurtful, challenging breakup conversation.
Dear Amy: My wife of three years is interviewing for a new job at her company. This would be a major shift in her career.
I fully support her change and have been there for her during this process.
I have expressed my love and belief in her, but also cautioned her to be prepared to not get the job, even though she may be a qualified internal candidate.
How should I handle myself in the event she doesn't get the job?
I have been patient and a good listener for the last three months when this all started, but my patience in terms of hearing about this has grown very thin.
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