Daughter juggles relationship with two mothers
Your mother is being cruel, manipulative and emotionally abusive. She has put you on an emotional roller coaster, and her behavior is designed to keep you permanently off-balance.
Your background is complex and challenging. All of your choices now should foster your own emotional health and growth. You can't grow if your mother is constantly forcing you to serve her own needs.
You would greatly benefit from talking with a therapist who could continue to coach you as you sort out these relationships. I'm rooting for you.
Dear Amy: I appreciate your straightforward advice. For years I've had a good, respectful relationship with my in-laws. We see each other regularly, despite being on the opposite ends of the political spectrum.
However, this election changed all of that. I can't get over that they supported a candidate whose actions directly impact me (and hence my family), in a negative way.
They have not acknowledged how drastically things changed for me since the election, yet they continue to carry on like nothing happened. How do I move past this?
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: Did you offer an acknowledgment to your in-laws when your candidate won the election eight years ago? You can assume that they were probably pretty disappointed, but (I assume) you expected them to cope with their disappointment without a special acknowledgment from you.
We are currently experiencing a period of extreme political and cultural challenges. But the way for you to move past this is to buck up, get busy, let your anger turn toward advocacy and simply stop expecting people on the other side of the political spectrum to ever feel sorry for you.
My theory is that when you understand and accept this about your in-laws, you will be able to peacefully and respectfully wave at them from across the divide.
Remember this feeling, and ... come the revolution, be kind.
Dear Amy: I can't believe you pressured "At a Loss" to invite her selfish and disruptive mother to her wedding. The worst day to try to deal with this nightmare would be on your own wedding day. The wedding day should be about the bride and groom.
-- Upset
Dear Upset: Public weddings are in essence family and community events. If a bride wants to ensure that her wedding day is all about her, then she probably shouldn't invite guests.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
