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Keeping Abreast of Heart Disease Risk

Scott LaFee on

In 2021, the Ig Nobel Prize in psychology went to Miranda Giacomin and Nicholas Rule for devising a method to identify narcissists by examining their eyebrows. Apparently the more grandiose the eyebrows, the more grandiose the personality.

Sum Body

John Harvey Kellogg (1852-1943) spent his life inventing new ways to improve human health and vitality -- at least in his opinion. His eponymous corn flakes were designed to be part of a bland diet that, he believed, would curb nasty habits like masturbation.

Corn flakes have endured, but some of Kellogg's other inventions have not:

No. 1: Electric horse. Imagine a saddle atop a barrel-shaped stationary device that bucks up and down. It was intended to replicate the exercise involved in horseback riding. Kellogg also invented a mechanical "camel" with a sideways motion.

No. 2: Poop chair. Kellogg was big on the benefits of colonic irrigation. The poop chair was an adjunct idea. It looked like an ordinary dining room table chair, but vibrated, with the idea being that all that shaking would help jostle a subsequent bowel movement.

No. 3: Protose. Before there was the "Impossible Burger" and other plant-based "meats," there was Kellogg's Protose "vegetable meat," which appears to have been a combination of wheat gluten, cereal and peanut butter.

 

No. 4: Punch in the gut. Combining the brilliance of his electric horse and poop chair, Kellogg invented a device with a vibrating dumbbell designed to repeatedly punch users in the stomach, the idea being that the blows would dislodge fatty tissue.

Last Words

"Dictionary." -- Last word of English linguist Joseph Wright (1855-1930), editor of the English Dialect Dictionary. Full disclosure: The actual last word in the dictionary is "zyzzyva," defined as a genus of tropical weevils native to South America.

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