Ask the Pediatrician: How to manage screen time and temper tantrums

Are you concerned about the time your child spends on digital devices? If so, you're hardly alone. Many parents and caregivers worry that screen time is taking over their child's day (and night), crowding out other activities they need for good health.

It helps to create a family media plan to set healthy digital habits. You may decide you want to cut back on the amount of time kids spend gaming, surfing the net or watching videos. But that doesn't fully address the temper tantrums that often result when it's time to stop.

Children may scream, cry or even fight back physically when they're asked to turn off their devices. (We've all witnessed the battles that happen when parents try to take a tablet away from a preschooler or engage older children in conversation when they're still immersed in an online game.)

These meltdowns can disrupt everyone's day, eventually turning into power struggles that move you further from your goal of balanced, healthy tech use.

Temper tantrums reveal that your child is finding it impossible in the moment to cope with these emotions. Even teens can become angry, sullen and defiant when they're asked to step away from digital media.

If you've ever lost your own temper when your child melted down over tech limits, forgive yourself. We're all learning how to cope with these new and evolving challenges.

Here are suggestions for preventing conflict by working out agreements that all family members can follow.

Toddlers and preschoolers already know they can't eat ice cream at every meal or spend all their time playing with a single toy. A healthy life requires balance and variety. You can build on this concept when you talk about screen time.

Talk about the fact that people and families need time for work, school, conversation, meals, exercise and rest. Digital technology is part of our lives, but it can't steal time from other healthy activities.

Adapt this conversation for your child's age and level of understanding. Give older children and teens the chance to share their perspectives, too. Listen without judgment. You'll want to make room for what each family member has to say while being clear that life balance is the ultimate goal.

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