Free to Be Cookie-Free

: Tracy Beckerman on Oct 20, 2026

"Would you like a cookie or a muffin?" the receptionist brightly asked as I entered the dentist's office. I gazed longingly at the platters of fresh baked goods displayed on the front desk. They looked soft and chewy and delicious, but as someone who is gluten-free, I suspected that it would be in my (and the dentist, hygienist and entire office staff's) best interest to pass.

"Thanks," I replied. "But I can't. I'm gluten-free."

"Oh!" she boomed. "That's no problem, these are all gluten-free!!"

"Really?!?!" I exclaimed.

"Yes! We got gluten-free, nut-free and dairy-free cookies because we know so many of our clients have different food allergies."

"Are they taste-free too?" I wondered aloud. In my experience, the more things you took out of a cookie, the less cookie-like they tasted.

"No, they're delicious," she assured me. "Try one."

I reached out and grabbed a cookie and popped it into my mouth. Granted, it wasn't like the homemade chocolate chip cookies my grandmother used to make with 10 pounds of butter, but it was pretty darn good. Plus, it was free ... in more ways than one.

"Are they calorie-free too?" I asked, grabbing a second cookie without waiting for the answer.

"No," she replied. "But they are sugar-free!"

Feeling like I had won the dessert lottery, I grabbed a third cookie and went to sit down before I scarfed the entire platter.

Although I was thrilled to have this unexpected afternoon treat, the problem I've found with gluten-free, dairy-free cookies is that they tend to be dry. While I'm no pastry chef, I think the lack of milk and butter may have something to do with it.

"Do you have anything to drink?" I asked.

"Oh sure, we have caffeine-free herbal teas and coffee," the receptionist said, pointing to a machine in the corner.

I went to grab a tea.

"Do you have any milk?" I asked.

"No, but we do have some nondairy creamer," she replied, nodding to a shelf next to the coffee maker.

Now, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even I was starting to notice a theme here. The cookies were gluten-free, the tea was caffeine-free, the milk was dairy-free -- with any luck, the dental services would be free too.

And with this thought, I suddenly remembered that I was at the dentist's office for a reason other than to eat gluten-free cookies with caffeine-free tea. Sadly, while I had arrived with a pristine mouth, I now had cookie all over my teeth. I was pretty sure the dentist wouldn't appreciate working on my mouth when it was like a Pillsbury factory explosion in there.

"Hey," I said to the receptionist, "I appreciate the snack, but I have cookies all over my teeth now. Do you have a toothbrush I could use?"

"Sure," she replied. "I have them right here. They're two dollars each."

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Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, "Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble," available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com.

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