To save time for this department and yourself, please give your excuse by number. The list below covers most situations.

1. That's the way we've always done it.

2. I didn't know you were in a hurry for it

3. That's not ...Read More

The owl and the pussycat went to sea,
but the end of our story's quite sad.
The owl pushed the pussycat over the edge
`cos her gameboy was driving him mad.

A teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence. Brian raises his hand and says, "The sky is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No that's fascinating."

Jennifer raises her hand and says, "When I...Read More

John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't ...Read More

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she ...Read More

Zoey Deutch talks about getting videos of people crying during Voicemails for Isabelle, Jon Hamm filming an Amy Poehler podcast while in a hot air ballon for Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass and dressing up as a ...Read More