12. Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out.

11. Thou shalt *** EARN *** REDEMPTION *** FAST!!!! ***

10. Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted. ...Read More

... continued from above

4. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly* be that you're a jerkhead. There's obviously a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor ...Read More

When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent ...Read More

My housecat went down to the local military recruiting depot to sign up for the service. He came back about two hours later and sadly explained that he couldn't enlist because he would have to be "de-furred."

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, ...Read More

A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs.

But as the weeks went by, they gave him a call to complain that the package had not yet arrived...Read More