Good Advice - Military Style


Published in Jokes

- "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."

- "Never trade luck for skill."

- The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ****!"

- "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

- "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."

- "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

- "Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."

- Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."


- "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

- "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."

- "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,

- "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

- Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

- As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)


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