(Original airdate: 20 April 2013) Academy Award-winning actress Saoirse Ronan joins Jonathan Ross on the couch and talks about receiving her first Oscar nomination at 13 years old, the strong Irish accent she carries, and working with Ryan Gosling.
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but ...Read More
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
... continued from above
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. -Lewis Grizzard
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you...Read More
- We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
- In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall ...Read More
The teacher was asking here students "How many letters are in the alphabet?".
A student said "18".
The teacher said "Why 18?"
The student said "Because ET left in a UFO and was chased by the CIA"
The chef instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."
The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
"Well - just take a larger pot!"