Humor
/Entertainment
Women Drivers
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.
It ...Read more
Consultaton Fee
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the ...Read more
Where Did You Start?
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
Police House Calls
My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly resolved.
On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door.
Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in ...Read more
Guys Shopping
In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.
As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child;
"You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again."
Amber Ruffin Reveals How a Scandal Made Her a Choir Director at 11 Years Old
Amber Ruffin reads off a list of her pitches Seth said no to before talking about the premiere of her off-Broadway musical Bigfoot! and how a scandal at church sparked her interest in music.
Mark Ruffalo's New Crime Thriller Is "A Real Cat & Mouse" Game
Mark Ruffalo offers a sneak peek at the action in his new film where he plays a jewelry thief alongside co-stars Halle Berry and Chris Hemsworth.
The Muppet Show | Seth Rogen Chats With Kermit & Miss Piggy | Disney+
Executive Producer and guest star Seth Rogen, Kermit the Frog, and Miss Piggy reminisce about shooting “The Muppet Show,” their artistic process (even when there isn’t a process), and how to keep creative partnerships thriving.
A Fun Recipe With Jackfruit You Should Learn To Avoid Looking Like A Knuckle-Dragging Dirt Person
Food Editor Gillian Hess says that since so many people want to be seen buying jackfruit to avoid looking like they're moving to the hills to fuck rocks, you should be able to find the tree fruit at Whole Foods or a specialty market.
Jordan Klepper Went to the “Melania” Movie So You Don’t Have To | The Daily Show
With Amazon’s $40 million documentary about the first lady premiering at the Trump Kennedy Center, Jordan Klepper ventured to Washington, D.C., where he chatted with attendees about director Brett Ratner’s appearance in the Epstein files, whether the film’s purchase was a bribe, and why THIS is what our country should be focused on right ...Read more
"I've Never Said No" - Why John Oliver Has Been In So Many Late Show Sketches
Emmy-winner John Oliver celebrates his 22nd guest spot on The Late Show and volunteers to participate in his 25th sketch on the show. Keep watching for two more segments with John Oliver and watch the Season 13 premiere of "Last Week Tonight" on February 15th on HBO Max.
Late Show Home Shopping: Canceled Clearance Sale! with John Oliver
"Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver stops by to help Stephen Colbert raise some cash for World Central Kitchen by auctioning off one-of-a-kind pieces of television history ahead of the series finale of The Late Show. Learn more about what's up for grabs and help raise money for a great cause at http://colbertlateshow.com/ebay
The Viking Raid - SNL
Vikings (Alexander Skarsgård, Mikey Day, James Austin Johnson, Andrew Dismukes, Chloe Fineman, Ben Marshall) celebrate their victory.
Kermit the Frog STORMS OFF After Miss Piggy & Derek Hough Flirt Fest!
“Extra’s” Derek Hough sits down with the icons themselves, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, to talk about the brand new “The Muppet Show” special. But as Derek and Miss Piggy reminisced about dancing together and got a little flirty, Kermit had enough!
Beth Behrs Accidentally Grabbed Kat Dennings' Boob | CONAN on TBS
Beth was in the middle of dissing "DuckTales" when she accidentally got to second base with Kat.
Open the Can
A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.
Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener ..."
A Deep Rooted Delusion
Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.
Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last ...Read more
Politics Explained as Cows
SOCIALISM You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for ...Read more
Ahmed the Manager
After one of the machines at work suddenly went on the fritz, our boss called the repair service and asked to speak to the manager, Ahmed.
"Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?" said the guy who answered the phone.
"Sorry," said my boss. "I was looking for Ahmed."
"This is Ahmed," came the reply. "How can I help you?"
"I thought ...Read more
Quick Quotes
"I asked this one girl out and she said, 'You got a friend?' I said yes, she said, 'Then go out with him'" --Dom Irrera
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"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." --Joseph Blosephina
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"I have a detached retina. Actually, it's not detached. It's more emotionally unavailable." --...Read more
