Stop saying the problem is just a few bad apples. It’s not an apple problem — it’s an orchard problem. If you went apple picking and the guy who ran the orchard said, ‘There are a few bad apples out there,’ and you said, ‘How bad?’ and they said, ‘Kill you bad,’ you’d say, ‘This is a bad orchard.’
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass ...Read More
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
- When you convince yourself that Tetris really does improve eye-hand coordination.
- When the radio traffic reporter talks about a backup caused by a crash, and you correct her that a backup is good protection in case of...Read More
- You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
- You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
- You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and ...Read More
A Plane was flying through the jungle when suddenly the engine stalled. The pilot ejected and drifted gently down to land.
Unfortunately he landed in a large cooking pot which was gently simmering over a low fire.
All ...Read More
• "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
• Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I ...Read More