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Entertainment

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Trump reportedly said, ‘Why are we having all these people from [expletive] countries come here?’ Sir, they’re not [expletive] countries: For one, Donald Trump isn’t their president.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Sen. Jeff Flake said today that President Trump’s proposed border wall doesn’t need to be a wall, but more of a fence. They’ll even settle for a net or a sternly worded sign, parking cones, and if they still can’t afford it, just get some old guy who yells, “Get! Get outta here!”

entertainment/humor/jokes/s-2039476">Read more

Trump and GOP Face Fallout from His Racist Immigration Comments: A Closer Look

Humor / Jokes /

Seth takes a closer look at how Trump has pulled off another successful pivot -- this time from a conversation about whether he's mentally unstable to a conversation about the fact that he's a racist.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

The CEO of Domino’s Pizza announced that he is stepping down this summer. He’ll carefully pack up his office, then get home and find that all his stuff is stuck to the top of the box.

Jimmy Fallon

Feeding babies

Humor / Jokes /

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered... what about people who eat with chopsticks -- what do they use? Toothpicks?

Did You Ever Wonder?

Humor / Jokes /

- If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

- Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

- If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the...Read more

Three Old Men

Humor / Jokes /

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

"I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business'," declared the first man.

"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'."

Turning to the third gent, the first ...Read more

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf!

What is the definition of a caterpillar?
A worm in a fur coat!

What has stripes and pulls a tractor?
A caterpillar tractor!

What does a cat go to sleep on?
A caterpillow!

What's green and dangerous?
A caterpillar with a machine gun!

What pillar...Read more

Lamaze Class

Humor / Jokes /

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

"You want me to pick up the...Read more

Late Late Live Tinder

Humor / Jokes /

James surprises one his staff members by asking her to play a game of Live Tinder, where she must swipe right or left on guys until she chooses a suitor for a date down the hallway, complete with dinner.

Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions, Vol. XXXVI

Humor / Jokes /

I got those 'adult coloring books' because I thought 'adult' meant they'd have naked people in them.

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

Now, at one point Donald Trump said that North Korea might be trying to drive a wedge between the U.S. and South Korea, but assured us that ‘I know more about wedges than any human being that’s lived.’ Oh, sir, you are a wedge. The simplest of tools.

Stephen Colbert...

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Trump reportedly said, ‘Why are we having all these people from [expletive] countries come here?’ Sir, they’re not [expletive] countries: For one, Donald Trump isn’t their president.

Stephen Colbert

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

According to The Washington Post — which has been keeping track, I guess — yesterday Trump told his 2,000th lie since taking office. So happy Lie2K, everybody. Two thousand lies in 11 months. He’s averaging 5.6 false claims a day, which is impressive, considering the fact he’s only working about 2.6 hours a day.

entertainment/humor/jokes/s-2039132">Read more

Trump Attacks Feinstein, Makes Racist Immigration Comment: A Closer Look

Humor / Jokes /

Seth takes a closer look at how President Trump has moved on from trying to discredit the Russia investigation to pretending it’s over; meanwhile, lawmakers in both parties try to work with Trump on an immigration deal.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

According to NBC News, former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon has hired a lawyer to help him prepare to testify before the House Intelligence Committee. I’d say Bannon’s starting to sweat — but I’m pretty sure he never stopped.

Seth Meyers

Boss

Humor / Jokes /

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars."

"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.

The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."

The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.

"That one ...Read more

Clocks

Humor / Jokes /

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."

"Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother ...Read more

Broken

Humor / Jokes /

On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."

A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.

"What are you doing?"...Read more

 

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