Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's numbing cream during root canal work?
He wanted to transcend dental medication!
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of power at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar ...Read more
Jason Segel and Stephen preview some of the most highly-anticipated, definitely real, upcoming films.
Seth takes a closer look at how President Trump sparked a political firestorm with his comments on Russia’s election meddling, as his party deals with allegations that their Senate candidate in Alabama sexually assaulted underage girls.
The Chinese gave Trump a hero’s welcome. Then he and Xi walked the red carpet, where Trump was greeted by his biggest fans: totally not-staged adoring Chinese children. “Thank you. You’re all so good at making my hats. Thank you so much.”
According to a new poll, a generic Democratic opponent would beat President Trump by 10 points in 2020 election. Yeah, the generics do great. It’s the name brands [shows photo of Hillary] who have trouble.
Donald Trump has had harsh words for China in the past. He called them America’s enemy, he said they were responsible for the greatest theft in the history of the world, he said they created the climate change hoax, he accused the Chinese of raping the United States. They had a parade for him — all is forgiven, now everything is good.
One year after the presidential election, John Oliver discusses what we've learned so far and enlists our catheter cowboy to teach Donald Trump what he hasn't.
Authorities in Colombia have seized 13 tons of cocaine, the largest bust in the country’s history. The Colombian police reported taking possession of $360 million worth of cocaine. So you could only imagine how much cocaine they actually seized. They were like, “Yeah, chief, that’s all we found, that was it, that’s all we got. I promise,...Read more
Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.
Jesse James: I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.
Marie Antoinette: My ...Read more
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies," he responded.
"Oh!, Killed any?" she asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Tex two to tango.
Candace be true?
Test for Dementia Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you...Read more
Embattled Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore (Mikey Day) meets with Vice President Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) and Attorney General Jeff Sessions (Kate McKinnon).
People do a lot of dumb, dangerous things to their bodies -- which is why we consulted a medical doctor to talk about everything medical physicians and professionals all the world over would love to tell their patients about health, medicine and sticking things up their butt... if it didn't threaten their job security.
According to The Washington Post, controversial Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore reportedly engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct with an underage girl when he was 32 years old. Politics is so full of perverts and deviants, I’m just so glad I work in comedy. Aw, damn it!
At this point, we’re going to need a new Oscar category this year: best actor whose movies we can’t watch anymore. And you know, in fact, at this point, now that I think about it, all the women in Hollywood should win double Oscars for acting like all the men were cool all along.
Trump claims the United States trade deal with China is unfair. Of course it is: The United States sends China high-quality, American-made products and in exchange China sends back the Donald J. Trump Signature Suit Collection.