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And The Fairy Said....

Humor / Jokes /

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish. "Ooh, I want to ...Read more

Rodney Dangerfield Has Carson Hysterically Laughing (1979)

Humor / Jokes /

A full ten minutes of Rodney Dangerfield doing stand-up and having some laughs with Johnny Carson. Originally aired August 1, 1979 on the Tonight Show.

82-Year-Old Man Covers DROWNING POOLS "Bodies" on Americas Got Talent!

Humor / Jokes /

82-Year-Old Man Covers DROWNING POOLS "Bodies" on Americas Got Talent!

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

We’re here until Friday night, and then we go back to L.A. This is a limited engagement, just like Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande.”

Jimmy Kimmel

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

I had this one weird dream where I could have sworn Kanye West went to the Oval Office and started talking about repealing the 13th Amendment. I thought maybe I had just been drinking absinthe all week. Which — spoiler alert, I was drinking absinthe all week.

Stephen ...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

I’m going to stop right there, just to point out that Trump went out of his way to stuff a #MeToo joke into the middle of his racist tirade. It’s like he’s making a turducken that’s just all turd.

Stephen Colbert

Trump Gets Mean With Stormy, Stormy Fires Back

Humor / Jokes /

When Donald Trump goes low, Stormy Daniels goes, 'Hi, tiny!'

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

This is one of the most disturbing violations of human rights in recent memory, and yet Donald Trump is bending over backwards to find excuses for Saudi Arabia, and keep in mind: He can barely bend forwards.”

Jimmy Kimmel

Twenty Management Styles, part 1

Humor / Jokes /

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in ...Read more

Translations of Help Wanted Ads

Humor / Jokes /

Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.

Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.

Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.

Fast learner: You will get no training from us.

Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.

Good organizational skills: ...Read more

Scrubbing Bulkheads

Humor / Jokes /

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced:

"Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Dis- continue all unnecessary work."

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:

"Resume all unnecessary work."

Computer Novices

Humor / Jokes /

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva...Read more

Real Smart

Humor / Jokes /

This one happened few years ago in Switzerland: A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and - while the photographer developed the pictures - he took off with the cash register.

Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself.

Pee-Wee’s Big Halloween

Humor / Jokes /

It’s been 40 years since Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) survived a vicious attack from the crazy and zany Pee-wee Herman on Halloween night. But when Pee-wee escapes, will her family be safe from what is certainly to be his biggest Halloween adventure ever?

“Cornerstore Caroline” Falsely Accuses a 9-Year-Old Black Boy of Sexual Assault | The Daily Show

Humor / Jokes /

In this week’s edition of white people calling the cops on innocent black people: A woman has earned the nickname “Cornerstone Caroline” for accusing a 9-year-old boy of sexual assault after his backpack brushed up against her in a Brooklyn deli.

Road Warrior

Humor / Jokes /

I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries. Also a hip replacement; later new knees.

I've fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, I take 40 dozens of medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

I have bouts with dementia. I have poor circulation and ...Read more

Funny News Headlines

Humor / Jokes /

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Air Head Fired

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Cornbread

Humor / Jokes /

On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crew members take turns in the galley helping the cooks. One young seaman aboard was always dropping dishes and spilling food.

One day, alone in the galley, he noticed an unfrosted yellow sheet cake cooling on a counter. Determined to rectify past errors, the seaman made chocolate icing and decorated the cake...Read more

Women Drivers

Humor / Jokes /

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It ...Read more

 

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