Don't Want to Work? Work in HR.
There may be easier jobs than being a Human Resources professional, but I really don't know what they could be. Working at the floaty franchise on the Titanic might come close. Selling vegan hot dogs at Wrestlemania might come in second, but for day-in, day-out, 9-to-5 doing nothingness, you can't beat a position in HR.
HR, however, can beat you.
With so little to do, the denizens of the HR swamp make themselves happy by making your work life miserable. That's why they schedule regular performance reviews -- a review of your work product every four hours seems fair to me -- and calculate the amount of annual raises to the sixth decimal point -- a .000534% bump seems fair to me -- after which they gather with their colleagues at the Kit Kat Klub to knock back Bahama Mamas and complain about how no one appreciates them.
Despite the manifest advantages of working in HR, the job still does not offer a career path that appeals to many. One aspect of the almost universal disdain for the field is the uncomfortable fact that despite positioning themselves as a defender of employee rights, HR is, was and always will be "a mouthpiece for company leadership."
This basic business truth is confirmed in "Why More People Want to Work in HR Now," a recent article by Pavithra Mohan for the Fast Company website.
The explanation for the turnaround is simple: This is not your parents' HR. The mission of HR today is strategic implementation. The goal is to play a part in the company's business success as significant as the sharp-pencil gang in accounting.
For example, when tech companies such as Google and Meta soared in the depths of COVID-19, HR was responsible for hiring as many humans as humanly possible. Then, as business prospects soured, it was the HR department that got the highly strategic assignment of firing everyone they had hired a few months earlier.
HR proved up to the task, sending thousands of loyal employees to the unemployment guillotine, creating a Marie Antoinette moment still resonating today.
But all is not eating cake in HR. As much fun as it is firing work friends, the job does have its drawbacks. What could these drawbacks possibly be? Step this way. An HR professional is ready to help you.
Drawback No. 1: Business Card Roulette
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