Call In Sick. It's the Healthy Thing To Do.

Bob Goldman on

This country is sick. I'm not talking about politics. I'm talking sick -- as in Kleenex and Sudafed and the noisy, nosey proponents of nasal irrigation. Hey, you stay out of my nostrils and I'll stay out of yours.

If you're like most people, you are either sick now, getting over being sick or getting ready to be sick again. Really! Everyone is coughing, snorting, wheezing, itching and dripping, post-nasally. These symptoms all fall under the diagnosis of rhinitis, which I thought was the name of a successful punk band in the '80s. I guess I was thinking of Phlegm.

Why is this happening? There's no shortage of explanations. The allergies that bloom in the spring that are the villain, some say, or the two winters of our COVID discontent, when we all stayed home and didn't go into work. As result, we lost the germy immunities you get when hermetically sealed in offices from early morning meetings in airless conference rooms to after-work happy hours, sharing drinks and antibodies with co-workers.

If you're the type of person who believes in getting paid as much money as possible for doing as little work as possible -- what scientists call a "normal person" -- life in stuffy-nose nation represents an opportunity.

All you have to do is call in sick.

No one is going to question it. You get sympathy and you get paid, too. It's nice when you're sick. It's even nicer you when you're not.


Of course, there is a limit to how many sick days you can take. My rule of thumb is that your sick days should not exceed 50% of your nonsick days. Does this seem risky?

Here's what you need to know before you make the call.

No. 1: Don't wait until you're sick.

Waiting until you're actually sick can take all the fun out of a sick day.


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