Planning a romantic getaway for Valentine’s Day?

The commercialization of Valentine’s Day gets worse and worse. What used to be an occasion for stimulating neglected affection (or at least stimulating primal urges) is now more about stimulating the local economy. (“Cheer for the martyrdom of Saint Valentine and repair the school roof! Patronize the upcoming Donner Party festival and pay for a whole new municipal parking lot!”)

The patriotic pressure doesn’t ease up just because you’re between partners. No, that’s when the Chamber of Commerce initiates the Presley Protocol. (“If you can’t find a partner, use a wooden chair – now on sale for a limited time at Forbush’s Furniture Emporium.”)

It’s unreasonable for society to assume that everyone will have the time, money, health and inclination to celebrate extravagantly, and especially on that exact date. As with compromising about birthdays and Christmas get-togethers, many folks must settle for commemorations that are merely in the ballpark of February 14.

Someday someone of my ilk will tell an interviewer, “Not only are we the first couple to renew our vows in the Mars colony, but we’re also celebrating Valentine’s Day 2022!”

My wife and I will probably mark a quiet Valentine’s Day at home; but don’t let my curmudgeonly commentary stop you if you are interested in a cabin, spa or resort. Everyone needs a place where they can ignore inflation, the border crisis and international turmoil.

And I’m sure the fact that most of these venues have a “presidential suite” is pure coincidence.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”