If they really are great hosts, Jack and Rose will see to their human guests' needs first, and find a compassionate and low-impact way to deal with their animal companion while there are other humans in the house.

Dear Amy: One of my mother's guests at her home over the holidays was a bishop in our church. He made a derogatory comment to my mother about my husband.

Later my mother repeated the comment to me. According to her, he said, "Your daughter is so beautiful and talented, what is she doing with a loser like that?"

Mom made me promise not to tell my husband. I am miffed at the man's comment, and I'm wondering what you think of my mother's decision to repeat it to me.

-- Miffed

Dear Miffed: When someone repeats an unkind comment, the best response (in the moment) is a simple one: "Why did you repeat that to me?"

You are right; both parties have acted badly here. This guest shouldn't have said anything about your husband to your mother, and your mother shouldn't have repeated it to you -- or sworn you to secrecy. That's unfair, childish and manipulative. Worst of all, you are still thinking about it, many moons later.

In this case, the best thing for everyone (especially you) is to let it go. If your mother brings up the remark again, or repeats this behavior, be firm but polite and tell her you don't want to discuss it, and you think her decision to tell you this piece of bad gossip was a poor one. Otherwise, chalk this up to a holiday party faux-pas, and move on.

Dear Amy: "Rosalind" was upset by an older man who stopped her in a public place and loudly offered her unsolicited advice about how to handle a health matter.

Your advice was to make eye contact and say, "Hi, friend. Thank you! I'll take it from here."

...continued