Dining Out at the Critter Cafe
Of course.
Feeling that the handling and indiscriminate spraying of noxious predator urine was perhaps barely an improvement on the status quo, I called the trash company and told them we needed new cans because ours were being slowly devoured. Did they have any ideas?
"Use bitter apple!" the man on the phone suggested.
I dutifully purchased and applied the bitter apple spray, liberally coating the tops and sides of the cans and reapplying after every rain shower. It worked about as well as the marigolds I bought to keep the critters from eating my garden.
"They ate the marigolds!" I complained to everyone who asked how I was, having just spent $25 and two hours on providing the creatures with a buffet of plants that I'm told taste vaguely onion-y.
And the garbage perpetrator or perpetrators remain unnamed.
Maybe our trash cans, like the garden before it, have become a favorite dining spot for all the neighborhood vermin.
"Have you been to Chez Garvey lately, Bill?" a squirrel asks the skunk across the street. "They're using this new bitter apple flavor in the pizza crusts that's simply divine!"
Then, the other night, I came home to encounter in the driveway near the garbage a -- well, let's just call it a possum, a singularly vile creature the size of a small dog. Lit by my headlights' glare, it stared at me with ghoulish white eyes.
I eased by slowly, giving it plenty of time to scurry away.
...continued
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