How do I explain this to our children?
Q: My marriage fell apart a couple of years ago, and I think the thing that angers me most is that my ex-husband shows no interest in our three children. Last year he didn't even send them a Christmas card, let alone any gifts. I accept that he's moved on in his life, but how do I explain this to our children? -- L.S.
A: Almost nothing is more devastating than being rejected by someone who once loved us -- and when they refuse to have anything further to do with us, the hurt is even greater. This is especially true when a marriage collapses. But God didn't design it to be this way. The Bible says, " 'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect' " (Malachi 2:16).
But God also understands your anger and heartache, and I pray that you will turn to Him and ask Him to give you the strength to overcome them and leave them behind. Anger and bitterness are like emotional and spiritual poisons, eating away at our souls and hurting not only ourselves but those around us. What impact will your anger and bitterness have on your children if you don't overcome them? You can't control your ex-husband's reactions -- but you can control yours, with God's help. The Bible rightly says, "Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming" (Proverbs 27:4).
What can you do? During these days before Christmas, turn your heart and mind to Jesus Christ. Commit your life to Him, and ask Him to forgive you, and to help you leave the past behind and walk with Him in the future. Then ask Him to help you point your children to Jesus and His love, which will never fade.
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