Heidi Stevens: This college season is 'the craziest ever,' experts say. But do kids want to talk about it? (Hint: Nope.)

Whee!

“In a normal year,” the New York Times continues, “students would be sorting through their financial aid offers by now, giving them plenty of time to prepare for the traditional decision day on May 1, when many schools expect commitments.”

Not this year.

Some schools (but not all of them!) are pushing back enrollment deadlines to accommodate the delays, which throws another monkey wrench into the system, as families try to navigate dorm assignments and wait lists and budgets and … joy? Pride? Exhilaration? Any room for those anymore?

Eh.

“Talk with American high school seniors who plan on an undergraduate education and you’ll find a consistent range of emotions: anxiety, confusion, shock,” Seligo writes. “College presidents say they’re worried about student mental health on campuses, but they’ve also been responsible for policies that make the application process more stressful and confusing than it has ever been before.”

I asked my pal John Duffy, a family therapist who specializes in adolescent anxiety, if kids feel like talking about any of it.

“Mostly,” he said, “seniors want to be engaged in any other conversation besides that.”

There are exceptions, of course. But mostly, Duffy said, he steers clear of college when he’s talking to seniors he knows—as clients or otherwise.

“I typically find myself asking some variation of the following,” he said. “What’s coming up that you’re looking forward to? Prom, graduation, Lolla? What do you want to make sure you do with your friends before graduation? Is there anything you’ll miss about high school?”

Anything, he said, to lighten—rather than add to—what is surely a heavy mental load.

“I would just encourage parents not to ignore college, but to talk about a lot of other things as well,” he said. “Music or Netflix shows or TikTok videos. All of it eases the stress of talking about college.”

It also reminds them (and us) that they are so, so, so much more than a sum of their high school parts—their GPA, their test scores, their extracurriculars, their volunteer hours, their essays.

They are their triumphs and setbacks and friendships and inside jokes and birthday cakes and messes and fears and smiles and stories and singular, beautiful hearts. They are all of those things wherever they go to college, whether or not they even go to college. Whatever happens next, they’re all the things that have happened so far. And that’s a gift right there. And we can, and should, remind them what that means to us.

Because it actually means everything.