Erika Ettin: The secret sauce of text convos: playful reciprocity

-- “Well, no one talked to me about my TPS reports today, so I consider that a win. Did you survive your day at Initech? (Please tell me you get the reference) ;)”

-- “I delivered a presentation on the Enneagram that I’ve been working on for weeks and it went so well. :) Any chance you’re familiar with the Enneagram and know your number? I’d love to know!”

All three of the examples above are: light/playful, showcase your personality and open the door for your text companion to reciprocate.

Here’s another scenario to help you get the hang of it: The person you matched with on Hinge commented on the photo of you from your birthday party on a boat with just, “Nice picture.” While they’re clearly not putting in a grand effort to start the conversation with a bang, try using playful reciprocity to get the ball rolling. Some sample responses could include:

-- “Thank you! Fun fact: That ice cream cake is the exact same flavor that I always got for my birthday each year when I was a kid. Do you have a childhood dessert you still crave?”

-- “Have you been out boating recently? That day was especially memorable because we got to swim with manatees!”

-- “Thanks! We ended up on the sandbar where, in a fun coincidence, two other boats were celebrating birthdays, so it was a blast. Are you a fellow ‘birthday person’?”

Usually, once you infuse some good nature into a chat and give your conversation partner a question that will be fun and easy for them to reply to, the text chain hurtles into action. From there, you can keep the vibes in play as you lob the ball back and forth on your way to a scheduled date.

Now, if the person at the other end continues to drop the proverbial ball, at least you can have the confidence to know that you gave it a real try.

The next time you’re finding that your text conversation is feeling stale, make an effort to infuse your side with playful reciprocity. You’ll likely be surprised by how much your responses are able to deliver more engaging responses back your way. Game, set, match!