ArcaMax

I try to maintain my own hobbies and friendships. I try so hard to have some sort of peace.

I wait on him, even trimming his nails. He will sit there and complain if I go anywhere.

He has no hobbies, no friends, he spends his entire day on his laptop. He doesn't eat any vegetables or fruit.

I try to get him to go on walks, which end up with him pretending to fall so we have to go home.

Whenever we go anywhere, he will pretend to throw his hip or hurt himself.

I have actually witnessed pretending to fall down a short flight of stairs. I wish I had videotaped it because I'll tell you, I was just not even shocked, just disgusted.

When we first met and were dating, we went on hikes, long drives, dance classes, all kinds of stuff. Then we got married and a few months later he started saying he didn't feel well any time I wanted to go somewhere. The man I dated is not the man I married. He is some sort of freak actor.

I am disgusted and resentful. Thank you for any advice you can give me. I just feel broken. -- Living With a Hypochondriac

Dear Living With a Hypochondriac: It sounds like your husband has a serious anxiety disorder. It's important for him to get professional help to treat his condition, or else it will spiral even further out of control. If he refuses to seek treatment, then perhaps it's time to reevaluate whether he is a good life partner.

In the meantime, set boundaries with him, continue nurturing your hobbies and friendships, and focus on your own self-care. A good therapist can help you process these difficult emotions and evaluate potential next steps.

========

"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.