ArcaMax

I wondered why he never returned my calls, until I found out from his estranged wife that he had expected to receive a lot more money from me from the sale of my house.

I wrote him a letter, reminding him of the money I had given him.

Two years later I went to visit him and he told me how he thought my daughter and I had gotten more money from our mother.

I explained that wasn't the case and I thought we had come to an understanding. I never heard from him, and a year later when our uncle died, I called to let him know, but could only leave messages.

I flew back for the funeral and expected to see him, but he didn't show. I know he is alive and well.

My friends tell me I've done my part and now the ball is in his court. What do you think?

– Confused Sibling

Dear Confused: I agree with your friends. Your repeated efforts to connect with your brother only seem to bring up new and unfounded charges about money he claims he is entitled to. Your assertions and kind corrections and reassurance seem to have no positive affect on him. Your periodic bids to connect go unanswered.

Yes, the ball is in his court. You should not expect him to pick it up and toss it to you, however. Now is the time for you to reckon with this loss.

Dear Amy: My husband and I live near his parents. They are very nice people, but they have a terrible habit of showing up at our house uninvited. Like they’re out doing errands and then they just stop in.

...continued