Ask Amy: Daughter resists driving Mom to church
– Tricked In Illinois
Dear Tricked: Your mother pushes your buttons because of her history of being manipulative, at least when it comes to you.
However, sometimes an elderly woman just wants to go to church, and she will resort to being sneaky in order to get there. (Don’t you remember what it was like to be a teen without a car, and that feeling of always having to shag rides?)
Unfortunately, you have a knee-jerk reaction to your mother; this likely goes way back in your shared history.
But – I repeat – sometimes an elderly woman just wants to go to church.
Yes, you are angrier than you need to be, but you are on high-alert and have over-compensated.
(By the way, your lie to get out of this is also sneaky.)
Yes, you should cave and take her to church. You can get her seated and sit in your car or the fellowship hall until the service has ended. You should also investigate any programs the church might have to give rides to elders. Having this social lifeline might cause your mother to be less sneaky on Sundays.
After church, you should do your best to speak with your mother very honestly about what happened on her birthday. Use “I statements” and be polite, frank and authentic regarding how this made you feel.
Dear Amy: I just learned that my wife’s spending is out of control.
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