Life Advice



Ask Amy: Boyfriend’s hoarding messes with relationship

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: “Dave” and I have dated for four years.

We love each other and are both committed to our relationship.

Although we have both agreed not to marry, having survived devastating divorces, we have talked at length about consolidating our homes and moving in together.

My trepidation has completely paralyzed me.

Dave is a professional who earns an extremely good living. He is very particular in his dress and grooming. His house, however, is a nightmare!

I believe that he is an extreme hoarder. He lives amid overwhelming clutter in every room (as well as throughout his multiple garages).


He has bank statements from the past 25 years, old food and expired pharmaceuticals, moldy books and papers, and on and on.

Although divorced for a decade, he has yet to discard his ex-wife’s clothing and books (she has told him that she does not want these things).

We had discussed the possibility of his moving into my house.

I keep my house fairly neat and organized. I am very afraid of his turning my home into the likes of his.


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