Ask Amy: Parents on the fence over adultery
I don't feel it's necessary to divulge the country where I spent my childhood years. Furthermore, I don’t want to respond to queries of this nature at all.
Is a response even necessary when it was not really a question, but merely a statement?
– Dan, in Los Angeles
Dear Dan: I’m curious about what a Los Angeles accent sounds like.
Is it the up-talking popularized by “Valley girls” in the ’80s? The Kardashian’s low throated vocal fry? The Spanish-inflected accent of some of the almost 50 percent of the Los Angeles population who are Hispanic?
My point is that in a cosmopolitan melting pot like your home city, many accents qualify as being “totally LA.”
The unkindest assumption is to believe that the person you quote was really trying to figure out whether you are “American,” or to imply that you are not.
This “where are you from” intimation comes off as rude to Americans like you – who may have been born elsewhere – because it paints you as “other.”
The kinder assumption is that someone asking about your accent is looking for a way to connect. They may believe that you and they share a similar ethnic or regional background. Or they’re trying (in a clunky way) to start a conversation.
If this is posed as a question, you can respond: “I’ve lived in Los Angeles for over half a century; this is my hometown.”
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