Ask Amy: Parents drop loud hints for them to leave
I’m currently not speaking to my mother. My father is upset and is acting as if I committed a crime.
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place now because we can’t afford to move because we only have one income.
The job market may take a while to present an opportunity, and my parents are giving me the silent treatment.
They have yet to speak to us or even offer my fiancé an apology for getting him fired from his job.
Is there any kind of advice you may be able to offer?
– Bothered!
Dear Bothered!: My perspective is that you may have inherited your mother’s defensiveness and poor communication skills, because you didn’t seem able to get your folks to voluntarily cooperate with your wants and needs – which would require them to alter their behavior in their own home.
One way to do this would have been for you to say, “Look, we know this is tough. But the quieter it is for a couple of months, the harder we can work, the more money we can save, and the faster we can be out.”
It’s their home. Given their own poor communication habits, you could assume that they are deliberately sending you a message: You are an adult pushing 30. Your parents really don’t want to provide housing for you and your fiancé.
Like your folks, it’s possible that you “hear but don’t listen.”
...continued
