Life Advice



Ask Amy: Reader provides ‘update’ on abusive relationship

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Readers: Periodically, I ask for “Updates” regarding questions which have been published in this space. I am naturally curious about how things might have turned out for people who have received my advice.

This column is devoted to a Q&A that was originally published in 2021.

You can read the original question, followed by my answer. The update follows that.

Dear Amy: My boyfriend of almost three years is very childish. If I do something he does not like, he will try to get me back or even the score in some way.

For instance, I do not want to do a particular act in the bedroom. It makes me super-uncomfortable. No matter how many times I explain this, he says it's his favorite thing and if I don't do it, then it's a deal-breaker. So sometimes I suffer through it, but other times I flat-out refuse.

Well, the other day, I refused.


Now he won't kiss me. He says that since I won't do that for him, kissing is off the table until I do it.

How is that fair?

How can we navigate through this without calling it quits?

I want to make him happy, but I also don't want to do what he's asking me to do.


swipe to next page




Humor Me (Leave Caption In Comments) BC Al Goodwyn Steve Benson One Big Happy Andy Capp