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Ask Amy: Morning grouch struggles with perky mom

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I just don't know what to do anymore! What do you recommend?

– So Very Grumpy

Dear Grumpy: In researching your question, it seems that there are a variety of reasons for why you might feel this way every morning (including the quality of your sleep), but until you are able to sort this out and perhaps feel differently, I suggest that you avoid your mother (and others) entirely during the morning hours.

After rising and using the bathroom, you might retreat to your room for some quiet time. You should have something available to drink and a protein bar or similar snack on hand in your room (if you’re a coffee or tea drinker, you can have a single-serve beverage maker in your room).

Take the time you need, focus on quietly and slowly waking up, try some brief meditation exercises to settle your mind and your mood, and take advantage of your schedule differences in order to avoid these interactions.

I agree that this is a simple boundary for others to recognize and respect. It would seem that your mother would also want to avoid unpleasant interactions in the morning, but she may be trying to change you or somehow “jolly” you out of a morning phase that you can’t successfully control.

 

Dear Amy: I’m in a quandary about what to do about a daughter I gave up for adoption many years ago.

We recently found each other online and are very happy that we’ve reunited.

My husband and I have three other children who are doing well.

The daughter I recently found is extremely successful professionally and financially, much more so than our other kids.

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